Cold Feet
by msrowley
Summary: Newt and Tina attend their colleagues' wedding, which prompts them to have a discussion about their future together, but with Queenie still gone, Tina struggles to move forward. Uploaded Jan. 7, 2020, re-uploaded because it wasn't showing up on search engines.


When they arrive at the flat that night, no words are exchanged. Tina heads off to their room without looking at him, so Newt goes to the basement to take over the creatures from Bunty, loosening his bowtie and shedding his dinner jacket as he went.

The Braithwaite-Berrycloth wedding had been an altogether agreeable affair. Both Newt and Tina knew the bride and groom from the Invisibility Task Force at the ministry (which often had to collaborate with their own respective departments) and got along with them well. There weren't too many guests present, only about 60 of the couple's closest family and friends, along with the companions they brought, and while the reception was relatively simple, the private setting of the party and the sincerity behind the ceremony made them feel at ease. Newt in particular, found comfort in the absence of journalists and photographers that normally hound him with personal questions and endless unwanted photographs.

Thus, he and Tina were able to enjoy themselves more than they normally would at a social gathering; they danced to a song or two, drank champagne, engaged in come conversation with other guests apart from Theseus, and for once didn't leave too early. When they did decide it was time to leave, they approached the newly-wedded Mr. and Mrs. Cassian Berrycloth to hand them their gift, congratulate them, and thank them in earnest for the invitation.

After hands are given firm shakes, backs patted, and cheeks kissed, the now rather tipsy Cassian let out, "Make sure to invite us at yours!"

Newt and Tina take the words, uttered in a joking tone, like good sports, smiling and letting out vague chuckles of amusement and giving Cassian and wife Isobel one last wave before turning away to leave. As they walk to their Apparition spot, Newt watches Tina, noting how her expression had become pensive and slightly downcast, a sudden turn from earlier in the evening, when her eyes had smiled beautifully at him as they held each other close and swayed to gentle music.

When they reach the flat, Cassian's words still hang in the air.

But there had been nothing untoward about his remark. It was no secret that Newt and Tina were in a relationship, and have been for a while– a little more than a year, to be exact. Tina had been living with Newt since she'd been transferred to Britain after their brush with Grindelwald in Paris, and their courtship began almost simultaneously (following the clarifications that neither of them were currently engaged to or seeing other people). On top of that, in the last few months, they had begun to live unreservedly like a married couple when they started sharing a bed, engaging in all the intimacies that came with doing so.

Newt thought attending the wedding might be a good idea, a much-needed distraction, especially today, on Queenie's second birthday gone. And for a while, it had been. But something about Cassian's words had hit unpleasantly because of the absence of the younger Goldstein.

Newt couldn't deny that he'd been thinking of marriage himself. With the way they were living, they might as well have been married already. But he also couldn't deny that he found himself pushing those thoughts aside because Tina was clearly still devastated from losing her sister.

In the last few months, people have been asking him when he'll propose. Apart from Cassian, there was, of course, Jacob (who, like Tina, had also uprooted his New York life and moved to England), Theseus, and their mother. He suspected there were others at the ministry who wondered the same. It has also been brought to his attention that gossip magazines were also discussing it, and unsurprisingly, some have even fabricated codswallop reasons as to why "_Newt Scamander's pretty American auror did not yet have a ring on her finger"_.

Theseus, who was also a guest at the wedding and had spent a good deal of it at Newt's side, said nothing when an older ministry worker came up to his younger brother and asked him about his plans to ask for Tina's hand, taking a sip of his champagne as he amusedly watched the magizoologist stutter through a reply.

Being Tina's immediate superior in the auror department meant that Theseus saw first-hand the immeasurable restlessness she had in looking for any sign of her sister's whereabouts: far too many times he passed her desk at the department and found her leaning over a spread of various newspaper articles on the most recent Grindelwald sightings, brows furrowed in deep concentration as she tried (without much success) to discern patterns and predict subsequent steps; and of all the aurors in the department, she was the most eager to partake in raids that might be linked to the dark wizard or his followers.

Newt anticipated this behavior in Tina and asked Theseus to keep an eye on her at work, but as much as the war hero understood that that meant ordering Tina _not_ to participate in every Grindelwald-related mission, he found that his empathy for her circumstances held him back. As an older sibling, Theseus understood her pain in a way that Newt could not. The young witch would (respectfully) remind him of this whenever he asked her to take it down a notch at work, and he knew she was right.

"_If it were Newt missing, you would be the same._"

Despite the comforting company of his creatures, Newt goes through that night's feeding round more absent-mindedly than he would like. When he stops by the bowtruckle tree, Pickett, who sat through the wedding nestled in his caretaker's pocket, eyes him worriedly before reluctantly returning to his branch.

He tries to push down his own insecurity, his worry that it wasn't just about Queenie being gone. What if Tina has been waiting for him to ask for her hand, and was hurt that he hasn't yet? Or even worse, what if she didn't want to marry him at all?

He dismisses the last selfish thought and finishes the feedings. Later, he finds her in their bedroom, lying on her side of the bed with her back turned to him. She's changed out of the robin's egg blue satin dress she wore earlier and into her powder blue cotton pajamas. She doesn't turn to look at him as he enters, and he cranes his neck slightly and feels his heart twinge when he sees she is holding her treasured locket open and staring at the photographs inside.

He goes into the bathroom to change out of his remaining formalwear and have a wash, allowing her a few more minutes to herself. When he comes out, the locket has been placed on the nightstand and she's still facing away from him.

Newt walks over to his side of the bed and joins her under the covers, reaching out to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder and relieved when she covers it with her own. He takes this as a cue to scoot over to hold her closer to him, back to chest, his arm wrapping around her middle before he plants a kiss to her shoulder and then to her hair.

They sigh in unison, needing each other's warmth as comfort from more than just the cold January air.

They lie together in silence for several moments, until Tina speaks up in a small voice.

"Newt...what Cassian said...is that something you want? Do you want us to get married someday?"

Though he knew this topic would come up, he hesitates. He doesn't want to lie to her, but he doesn't want her to feel bad if it isn't what she wants. "I think you know the answer to that," he answers gently. "And I think you've known for a while."

For a few more moments, she says nothing, and despite their cozy snuggle, there's a tension in the air.

Finally, she turns halfway in his arms so that she's lying on her back, but doesn't let go of his hand and rests their clasped fingers on her stomach. Her gaze is distant and sad as she fixes it on the ceiling.

"When Queenie and I were little, and our parents were still alive, we would plan our weddings," she recalls, the ghost of a smile appearing on her features. "We would dress up and put flowers in each other's hair...She's always had an eye for fashion, and she knew she wanted to make dresses one day. She always knew what she wanted her wedding dress to look like, and she said when I got married, she wanted to make mine."

Her voice has become quiet and slightly shaky, and her eyes have started to fill with tears. Newt's heart twists inside his chest and he gives her hand a gentle squeeze, communicating without words that he was here for her.

In response, Tina squeezes back and for the first time since they arrived that evening, turns her head to look him in his eyes. "I really do want that for us, too, Newt. I want...I want to be able to call you my husband and to call myself your wife. I want it as much as you do," her voice reduces to a shaky whisper as the first of her tears fall. "But I can't do it if she's not here. I promised her."

She manages a quivering smile that looks so woeful it rips his heart to pieces. "And I know you keep telling me that I'm a part of your family now, Theseus tells me that, and your mother has too," she tells him, trembling as she holds back her sobs. "And I'm so grateful for that...but…"

Newt pulls her close so she's resting her head on his chest, allowing her to cry softly into his pajama shirt as he rubs her back soothingly. "I know, love. I know," he assures, finding a slight tremor in his own voice.

He presses a lingering kiss to her hair and takes a deep, steadying breath before he continues. "I want you to know, Tina, I very much cherish the life that we have now, and I'm perfectly content to carry on as we are. I never thought I'd have someone to share all this with, someone who loves my creatures as I do...someone who loves _me_. Look at me, love," he tucks stray locks of hair behind her ear.

She lifts her face to him to reveal swollen eyes and a sniffly nose. He soothes the crease between her brows with a tender brush of his thumb. "You've made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I know I've never been the best at expressing myself, but if that's something you need to hear, then I'll tell you every day. I love you, Tina, and I will always catch you. As long as I have you, there's nothing more that I could want."

His words have her dissolving into more tears. She reaches one hand to lovingly cup his cheek. "I love you, too. So much. I don't ever want you to doubt that, Newt. You've made me so happy. Thank you."

Their lips meet in a loving kiss that soon turns heated, her lips move urgently against his own, eager to show her love for him. He doesn't object when she decides to take things further, climbing astride him, willingly giving himself to her, knowing she needed this.

Before long, her hands start hurriedly undoing his shirt buttons so he unbuttons hers in kind. Garments are hastily kicked off and thrown aside, and despite the time of year, the air around them now seems to be _searing_, crackling with every touch and kiss, igniting with every moan and sigh. Tina stops to look at Newt with big, pleading eyes, wordlessly asking him if she could continue. In reply, he kisses her slowly and sweetly. She parts from his lips to trail kisses down his body, her hands touching and caressing him as she went, worshipping every freckle and scar.

Newt chokes when she finally reaches the most sensitive part of him, letting out a strangled groan when she takes him into her mouth. Instinctively he reaches out to grab a handful of her dark hair, and tugs, trying not to lose himself too soon in the deluge of pleasure. He meets her gaze, ever darker with desire, and tugs on her upper arm, beckoning her forward. She releases him from her mouth and makes a show of licking her lips, then crawls forward and lines them up.

Two groans of pleasure break into the humid air when she sinks down and joins them. Tina pauses when he is fully sheathed inside her to prop trembling hands on his toned chest to support herself, smiling slightly when she feels his wild heartbeat beneath her palm.

She begins to move, letting her eyes flutter closed. Newt holds her by her hips, aiding her movements as his darkened green eyes fix upon on her naked form. After some time, her movements start to grow sloppy and her gasps more breathless and high-pitched, so he pushes himself to sit up and catches her, wrapping strong arms around the slick skin of her torso and planting his feet onto the mattress to thrust into her better.

Tina responds approvingly to the new position, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and whimpering hotly into his ear, making him light-headed with bliss. Feeling they were both approaching the end, he palms one of her breasts and thumbs the hardened nipple, eliciting a final cry of pleasure from her. Newt gives in to sensation and allows her release to push him towards his own, releasing a low, drawn-out groan as he came.

With both of them breathless and worn from their activities, Newt props a shaky hand onto the mattress to support himself as he slowly lowers them down to the mattress. Tina moves off him then immediately snuggles up against his equally sweaty form. He banishes fluids from their bodies with a wordless spell and pulls the covers back up as the air around them steadily began to cool. She hums in sleepy thanks, kissing him softly. Her face is drowsy but content when their lips part before she lays her head on his chest and puts out the light with a wave of her hand.

Sleep comes to her shortly, but Newt stays awake for a few moments longer as he holds her close, staring at the ceiling. He lets one of his hands come up to hold Tina's own on his chest and strokes her knuckles gently with his thumb.

There's a tug in his chest when he remembers the ring of yellow gold with a tear-shaped opal beset by two small diamonds in a dark blue velvet box, hidden inside a drawer in his suitcase and enchanted to go undetected by pesky little nifflers. He lightly brushes Tina's ring finger with his own, lingering just above the knuckle, where the ring might be now if things were different.

His lets his eyes close as he thinks of his friends and what they all lost that night in Paris. He thinks of Leta, and Theseus, who still kept most of her belongings in a box in his flat and refused to give them up.

He thinks of Jacob, who'd lost weight and cheeriness burying himself into his work to avoid thinking of Queenie.

He thinks of Queenie and the way she had cried as she crossed bright blue flames to join the vile wizard who had enticed her with problematic ideals disguised as blueprints for hope and freedom, and was sure to bring her harm.

He thinks of the woman in his arms and how she sometimes cries softly to herself in the middle of the night, when she thinks he's asleep.

Newt's last thought before falling asleep is a hopeless prayer for Queenie's return.

_**A/N: I've been wanting to write something for Queenie's birthday set a year or so post-Crimes of Grindelwald about how Tina was coping without her and this is what came of that. It feels so good to write again and I hope you like this fic because I really enjoyed writing it! This was also my first attempt at smut, so I hope it didn't read too awkwardly or mechanically. Shout out to my friend, Geli, who gave me endless support and helpful insight while I was writing this story.**_

_**You can find my other fandom works (videos and graphics) on my tumblr clairelizabeths and on my YouTube mrsmaisels. Thank you for reading and happy new year to you all. 3**_


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